Funny old world it is… we have more technology that purports to enable connection but leads us to disconnect from those around us, we have time saving devices but we spend that time distracted by other devices, we can talk so easily with people all over the world but barely know our neighbours. Don’t get me wrong I thoroughly appreciate all that the technology I have access to enables me to do; I can work from just about anywhere, I can access information quickly and easily, I can complete my studies from home, I can build new relationships and maintain others and so much more. I have, however, recently realised that I have an unhealthy relationship with my phone so am working on that! I see the way that technology interferes with our human connection as a symptom more than a cause, it enables us (indeed sometimes rewards us) to disconnect more easily. Regardless of whether it is technology induced or not, the societal impact of disconnection from a sense of community is hurting us and our children.
It is commonly thought that a sense of belonging is a core human need. We are born without the ability to care for ourselves, we literally survive and grow through connection with others. I am currently reading The Myth of Normal by Gabor Mate. I thoroughly recommend it. It is hugely informative, heart breaking and hopeful. Belonging is big on the agenda in this book too. As I was reading about core needs in Chapter 20 I started to consider what this means for schools- how can we meet the core needs to create a safe community of learning? If we put the child at the centre of what we do in our schools then meeting their core needs is a good place to start.
Belonging
The first thing I work on with all my students is establishing a sense of belonging, it is the foundation for learning. Learning involves risk and without the safety net of belonging many struggle to learn- it just makes sense. Our students need to know that they are part of the school community, there is a ‘them’ shaped hole in the school as there is for everyone else. They need to see themselves within the school, more than merely welcome.
Do we acknowledge and appreciate varied sources of knowledge including cultural knowing, whānau/family knowledge, lived experience?
Does everyone feel not just welcome but part of the school community?
Do we actively support development of identity within our school?
Do we have common values, rituals and routines that help to embed a sense of belonging?
Autonomy
Whilst being part of a group is really important we still need to feel like we have a sense of control over our lives. I can’t think of many people who really want to be told what to do all the time, at 52 I still struggle with doing as I am told! In school our students often don’t have a choice about whether to attend or not, that is out of their control, but that doesn’t mean that autonomy is off the menu. In fact when we sense we are losing our autonomy we’ll grab whatever little bit of control we have and hold fast to it, that may come out as defiance, withdrawal, distraction or aggression. We can give our students voice and choice within the confines of a school system, in fact I’d suggest on heads be it if we don’t. I go back to some research I was fortunate to do with Sonya Gaches about child rights in research, the statement “no research about them without consulting with them” comes to mind here. School is about our student’s learning but we shouldn’t be doing it to them without consulting with them.
How much control do our students have in an average school day?
Who makes decisions? How are our students voices heard in this process?
Where and how can we address the balance of power so students have a sense of autonomy whilst still able to safely connect to the needs of our learning community?
Mastery
Who loves feeling incompetent? Not many of us. Imagine being made to go to a place every day where you got reminded continually that you are incompetent, incapable, stupid. At the very least you’d be reluctant, right? For some of our students this is their reality, and it is terribly sad. It’s like they are in prison and going through the motions until they get released instead of being a place of growth and development so they can go out and thrive. To be fair, I think some of our teachers feel the same way. We need to shift our learning culture to one where we are all committed to students developing mastery, a sense of competence. This may mean changing how we deliver curriculum, planning for mastery looks different to planning for coverage.
What do your students say about themselves as learners? Do they see themselves as competent and capable?
Do you have a learning culture? How do you know?
How can your curriculum design make space for individual mastery whilst meeting our legal requirements?
Genuine self-esteem
Self-esteem by definition is really about how we value ourselves. It is not to do with others assessment of us (be it real or imagined) nor is it dependent on specific attainment or achievement. So what then could our self-esteem be based on? I suggest it comes down to living in alignment with our values. As the 17th Century poet, John Milton noted, nothing profits more than self-esteem, grounded on what is just and right. When we do good, we feel good- this ties back to our innate pro-social beingness.
Do you encourage students to aim for material things and reward attainment?
Do your students understand their values?
Do your students have opportunities to contribute to the wellbeing of their learning community?
Who and what gets celebrated in your school?
Belonging and Trust are the warp and weft of the net of safety for our learners. made with AITrust
Trust
Trust is the glue of relationship, without it things can fall apart fast! In our schools I would suggest that building trust is a big part of our role as teachers and leaders. We can think of it as the weft to belonging’s warp in the net of safety for our students. Without trust we are nervous and unsure. In school we want to reduce uncertainty so that our students brains can focus on learning and not the stress causes by the multiple possibilities that uncertainty opens up. We can do this by building trust. This is about consistency (within reason… not to the point of uninspiring doldrum of course!), connection and transparency. Our students need to know that we mean what we say, that we are authentic, that we are committed to them being able to do the best that they can. They need us to be clear (as Brene Brown says ‘clear is kind, unclear is unkind’), set boundaries and hold them- this gives them a sense of certainty which eases stress.
Are boundaries and expectations clear for all in your learning community?
How do you show up each day? Do you need help and support to create a trusting environment?
Are you consistent? When things change do you explain this?
Purpose
In my research into teacher wellbeing, a sense of purpose was one of the four big things that made a positive difference. I see no reason why this wouldn’t be the case for our students as well. A sense of purpose or meaning gives us something to get up for, it can motivate us and help us to persevere through the hard times. Our purpose usually lies in something bigger than ourselves. As Viktor Frankl wrote in one of my favourite books, A Man’s Search for Meaning, “those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.” From a system perspective clarity about our purpose in schools is important, when we know why we are there we can get on with working on the how. For our students the same is vital, when they know why they are there then they can get on with the how. Without a sense of purpose we are merely going through the motions, I believe this is the essence of ‘meh’.
What is the purpose of school? Do you know the whys of your school, do you know your why? Do your students know this?
Do your students have goals outside of themselves? How does what you do connect with these goals?
Do your students know why you teach what and how you teach?
I’ve asked a lot of questions. They are there as reflective prompts, it isn’t about one right answer but more about being open to explore possibilities. If we want things to change then we need to be prepared to think about things differently. I know as writing this I am reflecting on my own practice too. To do nothing means that we are happy to accept the current climate where we have increased reports of disengaged learners, anti-social behaviour in schools, disaffected youth, along with anxiety and stress in young people at epidemic levels and an educational workforce at breaking point.
I strongly suggest that addressing the core leads to more meaningful learning through greater engagement. In the current political discourse around student engagement the voice of our young people seems faint if heard at all, and the punitive measures that are encouraged really only serve to create more disconnection through failing to address these core needs. Our students are members of our communities, they are like the canary in the mine and if they are disconnected then we need to look long and hard in the mirror. And we need to listen to the young people we profess to be so concerned about.
What needs to change? What can we do differently or better? How can we bring more connection into the world of our young people? More questions! Perhaps we need to start by turning off our screens and tuning in to each other. Perhaps we need to stop ‘doing to’ people and start ‘doing with’ people. Perhaps we need to make sure that our systems serve the humans in them instead of the other way round.
Maybe we simply start by building a sense of community and belonging one person at a time.
“Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it”
Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning
Reading list and referred texts:
Gabor Mate- The Myth of Normal
John Medina- Brain Rules
Sonya Gaches and Megan Gallagher- https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9780367142025-39/children-research-consultants-sonya-gaches-megan-gallagher
Brene Brown- Dare to Lead (video that is worth watching:
Megan Gallagher- https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Megan-Gallagher-11
Viktor Frankl- Man’s Search For Meaning